Archive for June 2012

I can see what the future holds…

June 2, 2012

By the time my son has tech-savvier children of his own, in the natural (singular) progression of things more eloquently explained by Ray Kurzweil and others – iPhone800c, slimmer than those end-of-the-world celophane emergency blankets, will unfold to become a car that gets 1000 miles per gallon.

The only drawback, the single remaining challenge facing any phone company that tries to compete with the iPhone800s, is a minor matter, really, hardly worth mentionning except when dining with potential investors – – when you are driving the fully-unfolded iPhone, you won’t be able to take pictures of the car (apparently, self referential innovation remains a keen literary device but one not embraced by the ever-shrinking workforce.  In fact, by the time of the iPhone825csxz beta release, due in part to a series of mergers that were the equivalent of species cross-mating, everyone under the age of 55 who had a job was working for AppleAT&T, or they were using the 800s to drive to job interviews many miles away.

There will be no evidence of those long journeys, or course, due to the previously mentionned limitation of the phone’s camera aperture when in “car mode.” 

These remarkable devices – solar powered, eco-factured, and soon-to-be voted THE most user-friendly creation in the history of humankind – will be augmented by uncountable (literally) millions of software applications built within hours to expand its basic set of features, so many apps with so many (some say unlimited) possibilities that state governments (led by California’s new rainbow coalition) have been forced to pass legislation requiring that all teen-agers be offered Driver’s Education in the public schools, as educators and health administrators decried the young people who seemed entirely comfortable facing backwards and lying down while driving, in their relentless efforts to take a picture of themselves doing so while they were driving.